Absinthe and Ice Cream Cake
WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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radioactivemongoose:

you’re probably not real punk rock if you use LUSH soap but i’d rather have lotion that smells like tapioca and be a poser honestly

unkemptly:

disgustedsigh:

sweet dreams are made of bees
who am i, i’m made of bees
everything is made of bees
send help

SEE THE THING IS, he said, BIG GIRLS LEAVE MORE SPACE FOR ME TO GRAB AHOLD OF
but
i’m not your handlebars

SEE THE THING IS, she said, BIG GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN SKINNY ONES BECAUSE MEN DON’T LIKE BONES
but
other girls are not graveyards

SEE THE THING IS
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because somebody is gonna hold her
i mean we all wanna be loved but i want her to
love herself
first

a baby girl isn’t beautiful because a man’s fingertips can dig
bruises into her hips, she’s beautiful because
she just is

in nature we don’t say a flower is beautiful
when somebody wants to pick it

in fact we say that nature’s beauty is at the height of purity
when it would destroy you to even touch it

SEE THE THING IS
i would rather be an ocean of danger and deep black and
thick mermaid thighs rather than
a body you want to cruise across
i would rather be the night sky and crush ribs with a suffocating sense that we are all small and purposeless
rather than a landscape of freckles someone happens to think
are akin to constellations
i would rather be storms and lightning and a bright sun rising, i
would rather make you quake in your boots than get your heart
pounding,

i would rather be beautiful like a cold spring stream:
not beautiful because you said so
but beautiful because
i am me.

Don’t really wanna be your girl? Just wanna belong to me? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

GO HEAD AND PREACH!!!

Swear to God a dude told me once he liked big girls because ” There’s good pussy under that gut.” -______________-

(via dynastylnoire)

inverted-typo:

thenimbus:

Cat Burger

Relevant and necessary

narcomanic:

narcomanic:

i’m pretty sure this twitter account is how sexting works in night vale

i mean really

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what is going on here

cophinescockerspaniels:

do you ever have a conversation and think “I am not heterosexual enough for this”

Please read this is so important. Forcing gender on children goes both ways. Sometimes kids are just kids, let them be so.

meggannn:

thetweetest:

They shot this 23ft, 1200kg crocodile after he killed 5 fellow villagers, Niger.

#that is not a crocodile that is a dinosaur

meggannn:

thetweetest:

They shot this 23ft, 1200kg crocodile after he killed 5 fellow villagers, Niger.


Actors have this amazing skill - we bond quite quickly but equally we move on quite quickly. There’s nothing particularly cold or capricious about it - we’re troubadours and lead a troubadour’s lifestyle.

Actors have this amazing skill - we bond quite quickly but equally we move on quite quickly. There’s nothing particularly cold or capricious about it - we’re troubadours and lead a troubadour’s lifestyle.