Absinthe and Ice Cream Cake

adriankarl:

you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
Robin Williams, Good Will Hunting (1997)

noveltastic:

"DEBBIE DID YOU FAX THOSE PAPERS TO MANAGEMENT?"

bisexualclara:

theladyserket:

today is bisexual awareness day. be aware of bisexuals. they are out there, and they are dangerous.

#*comes out of the shadows rhythmically snapping*

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person  (via coolgrandpa)

Oh my god. Yes

(via deadliftbarbie)

portiadawn-the-feminist-fangirl:

This one really spoke to me.

portiadawn-the-feminist-fangirl:

This one really spoke to me.

realtalksexadvice:

kabutocub:

Ok, so I figured that perhaps not everyone is aware that this is available to use now, especially the younger folk out there.

This is OraQuick, and it is an FDA-Approved, in-home HIV test that provides results in about 20 minutes. I’m not sure about the availabilty of this product (or similar ones) in other countries, but in the U.S. you can purchase these at Walgreens for a mere 35 bucks, and you can even have them delivered to your door for complete anonymity.

Reading the results is easy. One line you are negative, two lines you are positive.

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Why is this important? Well I know for a fact that a lot of guys say they are HIV negative without really getting tested, or they base that on some really old test result. There is no excuse now. You can get this in the mail if you want, and know for sure in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Its good peace of mind. And if you meet someone new and you are planning on playing around, its an easy and cheap thing to do to know where you guys stand. It builds trust right off the bat. Being safe is not just about wearing a condom. Its a combination of many things like trust, knowing the person, closeness, and being a good judge of character. Now on top of that you can keep up with your HIV status on a regular basis. :)

Guys, GUYS! This is a total game changer as far as STD/STI screening and safe sex are concerned. Like, a “we’re living in the future!” kind of game changer.

colinodonorgasm:

You're the one, Buffy.
majorobigtime:

dragondicks:

hiccupartist:

who is she

how did they manage to photograph this ghost

majorobigtime:

dragondicks:

hiccupartist:

who is she

how did they manage to photograph this ghost

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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radioactivemongoose:

you’re probably not real punk rock if you use LUSH soap but i’d rather have lotion that smells like tapioca and be a poser honestly